Friday, August 3, 2012

Back-To-School Nightmares

Every year I have a Back-To-School nightmare.  I wake in a panic, and then am relieved I've got a bit of summer left.  (Those darn nightmares can start in July!)

I have to share a couple of funny ones from the past.

1.  One year, I dreamed I lost the class rosters.  It was a year we were low on paper and challenged to make fewer copies.  In my dream, the principal had given us the rosters, and I didn't dare ask for another copy of all my classes.  Soooo....I took out a piece of notebook paper and told the students that I was taking roll by having them write their names on the paper.  I did this every hour, and they created my new rosters.  Genius!

The other part of this dream is that my room was a wreck and no bulletin boards were done.  Lesson plans for the 1st day:  I had my students create my bulletin boards and put up my posters!
(True teacher-- fly by the seat of your pants and wing it!)

2.  I teach English.  My math skills are lousy.  Another year, I dreamed I was teaching math to sophomores. (Some cross-curricular thing.)  If that wasn't enough of a nightmare (math!), my lesson plan was teaching them to measure and figure bra sizes and cup sizes.  I had measuring tapes and teams of students working together.  No shocker that all my sophomore boys were completely engaged and on task.

In my dream, the principals showed up, knocked on the door (good news travels fast), and in typical administrative tact asked, "Mrs. E, do you think there is any other way you could teach this skill?  Maybe something a little more school appropriate?"  Darn it. Even in my dream, they kill all my fantastic ideas!!  (I did notice the Assistant Principal stifling his giggles.)

Now if I had been the principal, I probably would have asked, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"  (And that's why they are the principals...even in my dreams I'd be a terrible principal!)

I woke up from this dream laughing out loud.

Nothing like being a teacher!  No nightmare yet this year. Stay tuned.

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